My Self-Care Needed a Jump Start
How my home and vehicle metaphorically reflected how I am feeling.
I feel that there is something sacred about being in your home, by yourself, and not having to drive anywhere.
After an amazing few days, hosting two of my favourite people, I dropped them off at the airport on Friday and was able to just come home.
I didn’t need groceries, had no errands to run and when it was time to go to a magic show, Saturday night, I insisted that my daughter drive.
Brilliant.
Sunday was a cold and wet day—which meant I had no desire to leave the house and followed my own rhythm of reading, cleaning, resting, baking and planning.
I am still relishing in the energy recharge, that only spending time with good friends can bring—being authentic, vulnerable, emotionally honest (without a filter), shopping and copious amounts of laughter, cheese and staying hydrated (🍷)!
What keeps ringing in my ears was how each of us recognized and reflected back to one another, the need to consciously attend to our own self care.
I’m not talking about bubble baths and pedicures either.
Instead I mean things like:
Setting or enforcing boundaries.
Asking for help.
Interrupting patterns in order to change them.
Which in my books distills down to these two things:
Being emotionally honest about what’s not working.
Being clear about what you need and want.
Essentially this means making a conscious choice to focus on what we need for ourselves, but not necessarily by ourselves.
Is Anyone Else Emotionally Drained?
Or maybe its just me…
No topics were off limits during the visit. We were committed to solving the our world problems, or at the very least getting them out instead of holding them in. Because in different areas in our lives, we were emotionally drained or being depleted, by situations and circumstances.
I know I’m not alone when I say, that sometimes a person can feel that instead of getting something off of our chest, that “this” thing has to be kept inside our minds—UNTIL we sort or solve it.
Which is an energy sucking belief.
My dear friend, Dorena of
, said it to me best…“Sherry, You can’t read the label, from the inside of the bottle.”
But even knowing that, it still happens.
Then you can have a situation where you feel that you are “damned if you do or damned if you don’t”, which no matter how many times you fiddle with the Rubik’s cube, you can’t solve it.
Cold House, Cold Everything
A couple weeks earlier, since we are in month 17 of winter here in Western Canada, I could hear an unusual sound coming from the furnace when it kicked in. As the noise seemed to get worse, I called to get it cleaned and serviced—which was promptly followed up with a quote for a new unit. 😧
Not going to lie, I have been far too engrossed in the North American political climate since January. Fixating on the tariffs which impacts the replacement part and new furnace cost, the volatility of the stock market, my country’s election and plan going forward, and a sundry of other things—all of which I am a mere bystander of—having to invest in a furnace, was not on my Bingo Card.
I had replaced this noisy part a few years ago, but the cost, of said part, had nearly quadrupled, so the math didn’t math to replace it, especially with another month+ of winter.
After my easy going weekend, my plan on Monday morning was to hit the ground running (literally), at the gym.
I’ve been a 5-7 times a week gym goer, for years. It is how I start my day and is part of my (non-negotiable) routine, but I’ve been mostly absentee for the last 6-7 months, (possible story for another time).
Working out helps me in all ways, not the least of which is energizing me!
Monday was the day, all that was going to change.
I’m ready, willing and eager to get there and get moving—and turn the heat up within me.
Imagine my utter delight, as I turned the key in the ignition, only to hear a weak tick, tick, tick.
Ummm What?!??! NOOOOOOOO
How could my battery be dead? No door was ajar, no lights were left on, it started perfectly fine on Friday? WHAT THE HECK!!!
The Fire Element
There are Five Elements: Fire, Earth, Metal, Water and Wood. From studying Feng Shui and other modalities, that use the wisdom of the Five Elements, a rudimentary look at the qualities of fire are:
Too much fire: aggressiveness, conflict, impatience, intolerance
Too little: lacklustre, no warmth, flat, cold, chilly, isolating from others.
Fire is the sense of touching and of speaking.
Archetype: hearth; Home of emotions.
Associated with leadership, spark, excitement and community.
Metaphorically, I could ask myself:
“What has burned me out or put out my fire?”
Energetically, fire is the energy that drives me forward, and without it I’m feeling and being “meh”.
Which leads me right to, “How can I stoke my fire?”
Community
The home of Fire, in Feng Shui, is the area called “Fame & Reputation”, the essence of which is who we are in the communities that we have created.
Gratefully, I had the wonderful few days recharging with old friends, and on the morning that my vehicle wouldn’t start, I had a community of women arriving at my house for coffee.
When I asked for help with my battery, they responded, helping me and my vehicle get going. The few days I had with my old friends, is always a way to significantly recharge my own batteries.
I have to agree that when our fire needs stoking, we may feel drawn to isolating, when the real warmth comes from connection.
It is all about balance.
To be curious about the answers to the inquiries:
What’s not working for you?
What do you need and what do you want?
My favorite author Deborah Adele writes about fire "tapas". "The promise of a crisis is that it will pick us up and deposit us on the other side of something. Will we trust the process or will we run and hide?"
I see you trusting the process. <3