NO--It's Not JUST A Dog!

Never EVER diminish someone's loss of a beloved pet.

There was evidence Wednesday night, that her tummy was upset. It became more obvious Thursday, while I was working with a client, that she was having troubles.

At least a couple times a summer, our dog ingests a ladybug, so her trying to evacuate something from her stomach, had me chalking it up to a ladybug snack.

Which then required three trips to the vet in 36 hours, medicine and other things to help her and I’m happy to say she is on the mend.

This is Ivy, my nearly 9 year old pug, who was a very sick doggo this past weekend.

Backstory

I’ve been a cat person primarily.

I did grow up with German Shephards on the farm, then when I moved to the city, there were two dogs that I remember.

Benji, who loved eating crayons, and in the winter you would see an array of colourful frozen droppings in the backyard. Then there was Dez, the cocker-spaniel, who was cute—sure, bright…not so much.

Cats, on the other hand, are fiercely independent. And I was much more aligned with them. So, I didn’t want a dog, as a matter of fact, I had an allergy to them.

But for 5 years my girls kept working on me to get a Pug. And for 5 years at Christmas they would get: pug pj’s, pug pepperoni iPhone cases, pug decor etc.

Then in 2016, I worked with a woman for a few weeks on my allergy, covertly learned about pugs and quietly looked for one.

"Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." - Roger Caras

In September we brought Ivy home.

The dog I never knew I wanted.

This is me early into being a Pug-Mum

This is also me.

This is MY GIRLS’ Dog—but guess whose dog it is.

Nope, I didn’t see that coming, yet here we are.

Health Changes

We all know going in, that no matter what pet you bring into your family, that they won’t live forever. And their health can go from fine to catastrophic in a beat. Pets being pets, accidents and other incidents can change everything.

Pugs are not known for their robust health, as a matter of fact, usually the opposite. We have been fortunate to have only been to the vet once outside of the annual check up and vaccinations.

“They might only be here a part of our lives, but to them you are their whole life!!” ~Pinterest

But at 1 in the morning, as I was frantically googling where the 24 hour veterinary clinic was, I have to be honest that I was fearing worst-case scenario.

What did she get into that I didn’t see? Ladybugs don’t make her this sick.

Did she meet another dog on a walk, that was ill?

Maybe the new dental treats I bought did this? What if she didn’t chew it or digest it properly and now its an abdominal obstruction…

and on and on and on…guilt and grief tussling in my mind.

Not to mention having no idea what it costs to go to the vet at 1 in the morning either…

But I was willing to pay.

Globe & Mail

This screenshot, from the Globe & Mail, is an advertorial not an article, but the data is compelling, since $5000 was a number that had popped into my head.

Pets are family members.

No they will never grow up, become a productive member of society and pay their own bills. But they will greet you EVER SINGLE TIME with absolute joy and gratitude, even if you have only been gone for a short while. Cats, on the other hand, may be pleased to see their staff has returned.

They are a contributing member to your family’s emotional and mental well being, which can be heavy lifting, at times, and hard to put a price on.

I was giving new mom energy for sure, since this is ‘my’ first dog, and nothing like this had happened before for me to compare it to.

But there I was, in the wee hours, trying to calculate the risk of waiting until the vet opened at 8:00 or jumping in the truck right now.

Making the wrong decision had potentially dire consequences.

My calculations included telling my daughter’s what I chose to do or not do, and the results of which I had to weigh.

Gratefully, her health is improving steadily, and our grief lightens commensurately, about what could have happened.

Your Relationship Is Unique

I don’t know what your pet brings to your life, I can only know what mine brings to me.

If I am grieving the loss of my goldfish and you are grieving the loss of your parent.

Both of those are losses. They are both grief.

One is not greater or less than, the other.

For those who would say, “It’s just a dog/cat/bird/horse/frog/reptile”, may not know what it is like to live with a companion, and how the animal expands your capacity for love.

Or, they were never allowed to grieve the loss of a pet, they had loved, because it wasn’t acceptable and was diminished.

Both are possible.

Regardless, diminishing someone’s loss because ‘they’ don’t think it is valid, doesn’t make it true.

I know how I felt when I lost my first cat, when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant.

I could see how devastating it was when I accidentally hit someone’s dog, when pulling away from in front of their house, who then succumbed to their injuries, but I could never know how they were feeling—truly.

I loved you your whole life, I'll miss you for the rest of mine.

Never assume you know how someone feels, regardless of who or what they are grieving the loss of.

Never diminish or stop someone feeling the grief they are feeling, regardless of who or what they are grieving the loss of.

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On Reddit, “Pet Loss Grief Is Real—So Why Does It Feel So Dismissed?”

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