Words Carry A Lot of Weight
Since we are living in the feelings of our thinking.
My desk is currently a mess.
When I’m in the thick of things, I know where each paper I need access to is amid the mess.
This morning before I began, I decided to tidy up the unruly paper landscape and came across this:
Stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t.
Start loving yourself for everything you are.
Me: “YESSS—TRUE STORY!!”.
Also Me: “Ooooof—I need to read that over and over again.”
I don’t know who to credit for those sage words and on a day other than today I wonder if I would have had a different visceral reaction to them.
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I can be my own worst critic.
If you were to track back your day yesterday or the last week, did you have more opportunities when you were self-deprecating or self-loving?
Studies have shown that the brains’ electrical activity increases when focusing on negative stimuli as compared to positive.
According to neuropsychologist Dr. Rick Hanson, “The mind is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.”
Recently, I’ve spent time in both camps and admittedly more on the velcro side.
Self-Deprecation and Self-Love
I believe both are an inside job, with an inside and outside voice.
Grace and compassion are two words that come to mind, when I think about language that conveys self-love. Feelings of understanding and acceptance.
Using language that is self deprecating and or sarcastic, when speaking about ourselves, doesn’t always mean that we have low self-esteem. It is a learned reflex, we use, often to deny ourselves credit.
Self-Love: I have been working on a project that I love and am fuelled by; my inspiration and motivation is high, as I nurture it to life. My flow and vision have been well matched with my output and I am proud of myself for focusing my attention and energy into this.
Self Deprecation has barged into the project a few times when I felt confronted by the fact that I have gaps in some backend tech skills. My patience with myself to work through or around these bumps has been negligible at times. Frustration, feelings of lack and self-doubt infiltrated my inner dialogue.
This is because we tend to focus our attention on “shame[,] highlight[ing our feelings of] unworthiness, weakness, and other negative features” ~Timothy Owens
Hence the '“Oooooof” from above.
Thoughts Are Neutral
Until we attach a feeling to them.
In my post, “Big Feelings”, I had wrapped and layered my thoughts with what felt like a never ending supply of negative velcro. Gratefully that is not always the case.
Because I became aware of the shift in my thinking and my energy, before it was too BIG.
I got out of my head by shifting my focus onto my feet. Its a somatic grounding technique I’ve used for ages.
Curious?! Have a listen.
Stand with your bare feet comfortably shoulder width apart, on a bare floor or carpet.
Take a deep breath in and exhale letting the weight of your body sink down into your feet.
Take another deep breath in and while exhaling consciously lower your shoulders and release any tension in the backside, knees and calves.
Take a third deep breath in and on the exhale close your eyes and feel what you feel in your feet.
Without looking at your feet, notice how many toes you can feel individually, without adding additional pressure on them. [In the countless pairs of feet I’ve worked with, its common to feel the big toe clearly and the balance of the toes feel like one unit or a team.]
Notice where you feel your feet in more clear contact with the floor.
Notice if your right foot feels differently from the left.
Take a breath in, exhale.
Now while looking at your feet, try lifting the toes and spreading them apart from each other.
• This may be easy for some and a challenge for others.
Keeping your toes spread; try to bring them down one at a time, starting with the baby toe and ending with the big toe.
[Tip: It helps to mirror this movement with your hands at the same time.]
Lift your toes up high and with your baby finger and baby toes at the same time, press them down, 5,4,3,2,1
And repeat that one more time.
Compare how your feet felt from the beginning to the end. Or keep going if that feels good.
One of the simplest ways I have found to calm my mind and get off the Negative Highway is to focus on my feet. The furthest body part away from my head where all the commotion is going on.
This has been a foundational exercise for myself and have shared with countless people, to get grounded, clear the mind and present.
From that place of being in the moment, I can question the validity of my less than loving thoughts about myself, my project, or my (fill in the blank) with a more curiosity, grace and compassion.
I can read the quote I found on my desk with eyes of observation rather than judgment. And appreciate the wisdom that contrasting emotions can co-exist.
Until next time!
P.S. Want more ways to get grounded? Join my FREE Somatic Resource Kit, [online course + a download] !
