Your Last Will & Testament
Spoiler: You aren't getting out of this life--alive.
The signing of one of the most valuable documents you can ever create: Your Last Will and Testament, Power of Attorney and Health Directive.
But it’s getting to the signing part that is challenging.
Since, who wants to make plans about their life, when the very purpose of the document is centred around the fact that there is no more living to do?
Here is some data:
How many people in die without a will?
Roughly half of Canadians don't have a will. Why dying without one can have serious consequences. When parents, in particular, die without a will, the mourning process can be overshadowed by legal, financial and emotional burdens that adult children — and other family members — are left to untangle. Jan 12, 2025 Toronto Star
While in the US.
Jan 28, 2025 — Fifty-six percent of Americans believe that estate planning is important, but only 33% of adults in the U.S. have documented their end-of-life ...Legalzoom.com
52% or 1 in 2 people
56% of UK adults aged 18 and over do not have a will, including 53% of adults aged 50-64.
Only 1% of China’s 220 million seniors have drawn up inheritance plans, according to the best estimates. The reason is cultural: talking about death is taboo and writing a will is akin to putting a curse on yourself.
and the answer is...not many.
And that doesn’t make NOT having a will, okay.
Like China, it is easy to get caught up about the idea of your own mortality.
Which makes the thinking about, talking about, then the actually writing about, over 50 percent less likely. [Does Voldemort ring a bell?]
So keep in mind that in this moment and the many, many, many more moments to come, you get to decide how you live and what your legacy will be.
So start with the easy part…
But first…
Here are some focus variations.
⏵ Focus on how relieved you will feel when the task is done.
⏵ Focus on how it feels to have accomplished the task.
⏵ Focus on the satisfaction that you have provided the information necessary for others to act on your behalf.
⏵ Focus on the how you have alleviated stress, felt by those left to mourn your loss, knowing that the details are all laid out.
⏵ Focusing on the end result of creating relief can help unwind the cluster of resistance to going through the process and will help you take the steps necessary to getting this very valuable document created.
Help yourself and others by focusing on the relief and downsizing this from a monumental task to manageable.
Please seek qualified legal advice with respect to the creation of your last documents and estate planning, as is required by where you live. My intention is to invite and encourage you to release the energy around doing so.
The Hard But Necessary Conversations
1. The one with yourself:
You may not have to think very hard about the things you do not want in your life, dying being one of them.
You may in fact feel tentative or stumped when answering the question, “What do you want in your life?
This is the question on which the foundation of your last will and testament is created.
What do I want?
What do you want to do or have done with your investments, your house, your stuff, your money, your assets, your...everything?
There is no room for a grey area when doing your will. It is the most specific and clear document outlining what YOU want. Because only YOU know.
I repeat Only YOU know.
Some may assume that if they are not on the Forbes list of wealthiest people that their personal estate isn’t that complicated and writing up the directive is a waste of time. The stats above support that.
However, this document is about all the things you have amassed in your life.
From the forks in the drawer, to the 547 books that you read and have on display, to the savings account and stock portfolio. And everything in between.
The people who are grieving you are then left to make assumptions and speculate on what you would want to have happen, without a will.
In addition to the grief they are experiencing, without a clarity of knowing your wishes, grief can be compounded by all the details of managing what they now are tasked with figuring out.
The documenting of your wants alleviates a substantial weight off of the shoulders of those who are left.
2. The One With Someone You Trust:
In order to ensure that your will is executed, before all those crossed t’s and dotted i’s, choosing an executor(s) is another vital decision you must make.
Ask them for permission to task them with the very significant and intimate job of overseeing your estate, and your wishes.
This can be a hard conversation, but another necessary one, tell them what you want and where to find the necessary documents to prove it.
3. The One With Your Loved Ones:
Those that survive you benefit from knowing what to expect, but may or may not require all the details. Them knowing who to ask questions of, what they need to do or not do, and what the broad strokes are.
Perhaps the conversation includes you sharing what specific items you wish for them to have, which in turn they may decline.
This is when the conversation may get hard(er).
Yet, it is important to be honest, you with them and them with you.
4. The One About Your Health Directive:
Maybe the person you want to make health decisions, when you are unable to, is the same person who is administering your estate.
Maybe it is someone different.
Maybe you want a team of people.
Ask yourself who, then ask them.
Decisions like these are hard.
Conversations like these are challenging,
The hard truth is that you won’t be able to witness the worthiness of having them now. However the relief you will feel and will give others, in knowing that you have a clear plan for your wishes and desires, is invaluable.
Relief in knowing that those left to grieve your loss, can do so without the added weight of wondering, second guessing, possibly quarrelling about what you want.
[Not to say it will be all smooth sailing, unfortunately.]
Is it possible that focusing on that feeling, not the end result of your passing, can help support you in doing the work?
Sometimes reverse engineering the process can help to move forward on the task at hand.
